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If people just played music to suit the mood, we would not have new music.

Nature is a symphony if only you listen .

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Four Year Mile

It was 4 years ago, blogs had just captured the attention of newspapers and the offline world. I had joined Engineering. I had started writing about 2 years ago when i decided to test if i had inherited it from my genes. What started off with autobiographical writings and dark poems eventually culminated in this blog Aninosaintlife, which after second opinions resulted in the wp.com version you now see before you. Eventually i broached out to this, largely kept hidden until recently, where i blogged as Insomniac. ‘An Inosaint Life’ gave way to ‘An Innocent Life’ and in somewhere in 3rd year of engineering ‘Life is not all Ha-ha hee-hee’ was replaced by the newer namesake’s name. ‘Mad Hunter Skozaken‘.

The Blog and the online world taught me a lot i should say. In addition to finding some awesome people online, it made me develop my writing style. This has changed from an ‘everyday blog’ to a more My Article Blog.The Old Gang of bloggers is almost all gone. I myself disappeared for long stretches in the past two years when offline life kept me pretty preoccupied. When i did eventually come back, the blogosphere was changed. I really didnt feel the need to ‘publicize’ my blog. I still maintain contact with some of the ‘Old Gang’ but thats pretty much it. Nowadays i just follow some of my friends blogs (who arent very regular when it comes to updating).

In these 4 years, I have started and blogged at more than 7 blogs writing around 350+ posts in all. The Mind Clutter Blogger blog, A Quiz Blog survived Ignitte.in and is now on WP.com, a Posterous and finally, in July Absolutely Filmy! came into being. I also re-wrote my ‘About‘ Page and created a ‘Downloads‘ page. Thats been my journey so far.
I really feel Blogging/Writing is my Chicken Soup for the Soul. I dont care if people dont read what i write. I know this gives me a way to archive my thoughts. Some day when i am old and worn, counting that the interweb survives, i would look back to the decades of history i intend to chronicle here. I write happy thoughts here. There s a lot left unsaid ; why should i reveal my emotions to all and sundry? Humans are fickle minded creatures. But thats another blog post in itself.

For People who visit/read, Thank You.
For Friends who support, Thank You.

The Big Choice

The Thing is that I’m not too interested in being an Engineer. Yeah, it does like a dumb career choice seeing that I’m on my way to get an engineering degree but that’s how my life has been, Mostly going with the flow. Things happened and I didn’t have ideas at that time and with me being the eldest in the family I had to explore things on my own; The what, the how and the where to apply, the procedure, etc., being the lazy dude I am , I didn’t venture too much away from the taken path. Me as an individual at a point of time did but only minutely change what I did. Like when I choose EC at Nitte over perhaps a Civil at Nitk. Because when I was to do Engg., I would rather study what I would like to learn about. Why wouldn’t you? Well looking back I still feel it was a good decision. Being at nitte has helped me so much more. I’ve got good friends, I’ve had good fun and I’ve lived.
So now we meet again at our next cross roads. TCS ya Infy? We can choose one. But once selected in one we would be stuck there for at least the duration of the service agreement expiry date. Now that’s 2 years for TCS while Infy is only 1 yr. So if I would be looking to seriously pursue my higher studies I should look towards Infy as a good employer. The pay there also seems to be slightly more.(lesser holidays)
But now what if I don’t make it to any of the higher studies colleges(that I want to get in and not any institute down the road) this year? Or the next? Wouldn’t TCS look like a better option in the long run. From what I’ve heard is that it gives better job opportunities.(more holidays)

But coding is not what I would like to see myself doing with my life. But I can’t see myself working in an EC background either. Yes I do like the coding aspect in EC better any day. Right now what seems to be an ideal choice for me would be like doing my MBA. That means passing through CAT(IIM’s) and/or XAT(XLRI) and going towards more managerial positions, of which HR looks inviting because it s essentially interacting with people.
On the other hand, GATE offers me a good College (IIT’s, NIT’s,IISc) and an approx Rs 8000 a month scholarship provided I get into a college. But looking at my current situation and with only one month remaining for GATE after my exams, my chances don’t look so good in it. But this has been a dream of mine to study from a premier technical institution.

And the choice of going abroad was thrown out by me a couple of months back. Presently it looks economically crazy to go for it. Scholarships are rare and you are more or less expected to foot the bill. That’s where huge bank loans will come in. How long do you think you will take to repay them back? After your MS that is. Yeah, the degree is coveted and most people say it would not take too long, provided that your MS is in a good subject. Some people like Rahul are indeed going for it. He’ s got a good GRE score and is pretty sure about what he’s going to do.

Now my choices are not limited to just these. An uncle of mine wants me to join government service. Perhaps write IAS like a certain ‘son of mangalore’ who passed it last year. The government does need youth but am not too good with languages. This had prompted me to dump the idea of a medical seat even though I had a CET rank of 441( yea bragging rights are mine). Because like medicine, government is about serving people.. Although what we see is not too many are doing that. It s not like they are not willing but it’s more like the system does not allow them to. Joining a system that does not work well will do no good.

So what do I want to be?

Somewhere down the line I want to quit work and start to enjoy the finer things in life. Do what I want to. Go through my Bucket List. This would mean safe and wait. What the TCS spokesperson, Sampath Kumar, said really impressed me. He gave us a brief intro of his life. Now that’s an accomplished man. He spent 19 years working for Bharat Electronics Ltd. Did his higher studies with them. Quit to join an MNC, quit the MNC when he was about to be promoted and started something that he wanted to do; Rural education. He became an educator and a multi-certified one at that. He was one of the founding team of the first BPO in India and then he joined TCS and is part if their leadership group. The guy is genuine. He’s lived his life. He’s done what he wanted to do. I haven’t met many such people in my life. Whenever I do , I feel immense respect for them. It made me remark to Karthik ‘ somewhere down the line , I wish I get a job like his’.

All this takes me back to ‘the Masterplan’ made by Rajat and me. But the feasibility of the plan would be only if time was slightly on the infinity side. ‘the Masterplan’ would also mean that you would be studying for a good amount of your life, but it would allow you to do all that you dream. It works well if you aren’t sure about what to do next. But the next thing on ‘the Masterplan’ is an Mtech degree through GATE.

So there we have it. My dilemma, in my words. It’s quite a lot. But it feels good to type it all out. I needed to do this and hope that few who read this were not too bored. So on the 19th I feel I’ll decide what needs to be done i.e., TCS ya Infy. Making Major decisions in between semester exams is just adding to the stress. Sheesh!

freedom perhaps

its been a while… nearly 5 years since i last touched the brushes. but i had been thinking for sometime that i should try it again. so there i was , sunday morning with nothing special planned for the rest of the day . searching through my old stuff, conveniently crammed into my cupboard, i located the old 2 sided pink pencil box which still held my paints. most of them were still in working condition, luckily :/ . With newspapers covering the bedsheet i sat at my usual “workplace”. something entered my head . i ended up distorting the entire thing but somehow managed to salvage it into the result that u here behold. in the beginning ,i thought i would title it ” freedom” but now it doesnt look fit. any ideas???

now i know it sucks. and if u think so too. please let me know 🙂 if by some rare chance ur an art critic perhaps u can see the artist(painter) in me. i dont usually drift towards painting. basically prefer pencil shading. been at it since i was very very little. i had given up painting since i used to mess up the entire thing. but this time i found my strokes more straight. surprising!

Watch this space !!!!

me Lately

im back at that stage of life.. its a phase.. but i dont like it..ive been a bit stubborn and a whole lot grumpy this last few days… hope it will pass cause i like the old Me better 🙂 Words .. thinking.. actions ..

Me being back here had some thing to do with what my sister said … it got me thinking and well what she said was pretty much the truth .. and that set me thinking about a whole lot of things which gradually ate my head and resulted in me being insane again.

Hope i get better . The cure is not so easy. this time at least 😦